I Am The Not - The Ani Ain System Revisited
Part 1
It is clear to me as I write this document, on the glorious autumn equinox of 2002, that I need to make a major overhaul to all of the writings here in The Church of Yahweh. That change primarily consists of reorganizing all the writings into one organized, cohesive whole. A literal course of study toward God Consciousness. Everything here does fit together, has a flow and logic of presentation. That I have not done a better job of making this clear is one of my many failings. Even the most diligent and hungry student has difficulty following the labyrinthine collection of (apparently) disjointed writings that compose this website.
I imagine a rating of each writing, "kindergarten, 1st grade, high school sophomore," and so on, along with an easy to follow set of links to the whole course. Your suggestions are always sought.
Understand, at least, three things at the outset:
First, I am aware of this need, and it is on my list of priorities.
Second, that for many reasons (touched at below) the present document should not be written until that task is complete. I am setting finger to keypad at this time, however, and overriding what may indeed be the greater part of organized wisdom, in an attempt to more immediately respond to the surprisingly numerous requests for a deeper explanation of the material contained herein.
Third, and most important, if and when I have the unified course approach implemented, the current document will appear in the Post Graduate department. It is not even remotely for beginners or, to use the New Testament's term, babes in the Word.
I have previously written very briefly about the Ani Ain System in my Transcendent Experiences spiritual autobiography. That one mention, most astoundingly to me, has generated more interest and emails and requests for deeper explanation than any other topic, save the war on terrorism, aka "Infinite Justice."
I have resisted writing more about this for one essential reason: I fear that I will do the "student" and fellow spiritual traveler a disservice by even writing it. Why should this be?
We have too many sermons. Too many teachings. Too many causes. And much too little experience practicing and living.
And the very act of placing this material into the current context, in some measures, de-values it, by making it appear to be just another sermon and writing and idea.
My writings have value, at least to me. For the most part they reflect, in fact, the way I live. There are members of this Church who I know would be glad to testify to that, but once again I am not the issue. What is the issue here is (I put this in bullets to try to focus and emphasize it):
 | I live my life, gain spiritual experience, and write it down for you. |
| For me, then, life precedes the writings. |
| Of necessity, for you (unless you are already experienced in such matters) the writing will precede the living. All my admonitions to live this may, indeed, fall failingly to shallow soil. |
| The risk, then, of me writing this, is that the reader could fail to see the living nature of this, and subordinate it to "just another writing." |
Don't let that happen to you.
The Ani Ain System is the single "highest," most life transforming knowledge & consciousness that I know how to express in human language. Jesus said He had many more things to tell the apostles, but they could not bear it. I am convinced this is one of the things He was referring to. So don't look to see this verse-for-verse in the Bible, though it is pointed to and screams out from virtually every page.
If lived, if experienced, the Ani Ain System would quickly lead to the elimination of all pain and suffering from the planet.
When my Rabbi first introduced it to me he said that he was providing this only as a frame of reference for future work; that I should forget about it; that perhaps, if I worked very hard, I could be ready for it in 20 years or so.
He was right.
But the times are yet again changing; (most of) you do not have the glorious luxury of sitting one-on-one with your Rabbi for years; the technology of the web has brought a change of presentation; and we may not, in fact, have 20 years left.
So, despite my training and higher "if we lived in a better world" instincts, I will share with you what I know.
Some truths masquerade themselves, allowing people to imagine they can be learned with the head. These truths can actually only be learned by experience. The Ani Ain System is the clearest case of this I know.
Just one example, of the many I could offer, will need to suffice. If I were to fill the entire World Wide Web with endless prose about strawberries, the whole of that effort would pale by comparison to... you... having... just... one... single... bite!!!!!!
Got it?
There. I've said it. End of introduction.
We'll try to take this one piece at a time.
AIN
"God" is what God is. That's all introduction.
"Ahyh Asr Ahyh" is the Name Divinity ascribes to Himself in Exodus 3:14.
Everywhere else in the Bible "God's" Name is Yhwh. Again, all introduction.
Then there are the Titles. "The First." "The Last." "The Merciful," etc. Another beginning Bible study you will have to do on your own. ("Man" vs. "George" vs. "Mr. President." That kind of thing.)
Over the course of time the Hebrews developed their "highest," most sacred Title for Yhwh: "Infinite Light."
Light comes from light, God is light, let there be light, all that. [Like I said, this is not for beginners. I will point you in these introductory directions, but you will need to get caught up on your own.]
Infinite, eternal, LIGHT.
The "Limitless Light" (in English transliterations of the original Hebrew) is "AinSoph Aur," literally "Not-Limit Light."
Now the observant reader will note that the first 3 letters of "AinSoph" are AIN. So, here's an even more detailed look:
Ain - "not"
Soph - "limit"
Aur - "light"
This quickly gets us into VERY deep waters. These 3 words combine into what are known as the Three Negative Veils. I cannot go into all of this here, but the basic idea is, what was "God" before "He" made the world? The "parts" of God that extend beyond / above the created / manifest Universe are known as the Three Negative Veils.
(Still with me? Like I said, this is....well.......just beyond.)
The Three Negative Veils are, "lowest" to "highest":
AinSoph Aur - Infinite (Limitless, Un-Limited) Light
AinSoph - Infinite (Un-Limited, Not Limited) (drop the "Aur,")
Ain - Not (drop the "Soph")
So, skipping the history & development and all, within the deepest halls of Hebrew contemplation, over the centuries the "highest" concept of God developed into......The NOT.
Now don't panic. Hold on. This doesn't mean that God does not exist. Oddly, in a "I tried to tell you this is reality beyond so-called learning" way, it means EVERYTHING.
In the Beginning before all Beginnings there was.....NOT. No-thing. Only God in a pre-manifest, total potential state. Like all of the trillions of electrons stuffed into a battery, but without any way to express them.
This isn't the "not" of a vacuum. Because from this NOT came....EVERY-THING! The Hebrew conception of the NOT is the Mother of All.
The idea is ultimately expressed in a little word trick:
"NOTHING" means blank slate, eternal void without any existence at all.
"NO-THING" means all potential existence. No single "thing" distinguishable, but EVERY-thing present.
All of existence and non-existence reside between NOTHINGNESS and NO-THING-NESS.
Zero Vs. Infinity.
We make the sign for Infinity by putting 2 zeros (0) side-by-side: 00
Only the emptiest cup can hold the most.
Only the empty page contains the possibility of infinity.
Nothingness is <void.>
No-Thing-Ness is ALL channels AM & FM & TV & Radio & X-ray & EveryThing at the SAME TIME!
The very first note of a symphony contains limitation, expectation, diminishment.
We could go into the "zero state" of cutting-edge physics, and how at the subatomic level this relates to the collapse of the probability states that are the essence of quantum mechanics, and systems of zero resistance (where there is pure current beyond ohms) and the mathematical connections between Zero and Infinity (beyond the shallow symbolisms) and a host of other things....but this will be left to the reader.
The Highest, Utterly Unlimited concept the human race has expressed about the Ultimate Nature of the Divine, as far as I can tell, expressible in language, is.....
AIN. The Infinite No-Thing that is the womb of All.
ANI
The phrase "Ani Yhwh" appears in the Bible some 157 times. You can read the details here.
"Ani" means "I." "I am."
It is essentially the infinite-opposite of Ain. Whereas the Ain is limitless no-thing-ness, the Ani is Me, Mine, I, here & now in space & time.
Ani Ain
On one end of the ontological (types-of-being) scale, we have AIN, limitless No-Thing-Ness, beyond all manifestation, time & space; on the other we have ANI, the localized I, here and now, the individualized ego state.
Put the 3 letters A, N, I in a circle, and they can spell both "I" (Ani) and "Not" (Ain) depending on if you "spin" the circle clockwise or counterclockwise.
A
I N
The 2 words have the same Gematria value, 61 (A=1+ Y=10 +N=50)
I will be focusing a lot on this idea in part 2, so it bears emphasis:
From one perspective these words/concepts are utterly opposite. From another, they are hand & glove, male & female, equal opposites, each requiring and giving rise to the other. The AIN is infinite potential, requiring ANI for expression; these are the positive & negative poles on a battery. Potential & kinetic energy.
Look, folks, it's like this. Yes, every parent "begets" their child. But until that child is born, the "parent" is not a parent.
The birth of the child creates parenthood.
This is what is meant by the mystic phrase "Remember your begotten Father." It is only through begetting a child that "parenthood" is begotten.
Got it?
It's a system. It's always a system. And that system is ALWAYS a Trinity. Parent and Child are One in Birth.
So, over the centuries, these 2 so similar yet oh so different Hebrew words/concepts became linked into one unified statement, or system:
ANI AIN.
I, NOT.
I AM NOT.
I AM THE NOT.
"I am the Not."
Clearly some explanation is in order, even now.
So, start real easy.
There is you. Let everything that comprises "you" (body, soul, thoughts, memories, etc) be symbolized by the word "I", Ani.
Then, there's everything that's NOT you. Let that be called "Not," Ain.
The universe, then, and I mean the entire universe & galaxies & everything, can be expressed with one simple formula:
Ani + Ain!!
You might be well served to stop reading, friend, and actually think about that.
Everything that's You, plus everything Else (the stuff that's Not you) = EVERYTHING!
That's the TOTALITY of all existence.
And that is true everywhere. Every person, every creature, every atom, each and EVERY single entity in the universe shares this amazing truth.
So, again over the centuries, the TOTALITY, meaning everything that is, was, or shall be, in all worlds & domains, has been known Kabbalistically as the "Ani Ain." But don't look for that in your $4.99 "Intro to Kabbalism." And sorry, don't look for it in any of the Gospels or Paul's Epistles. You won't find it. We are, uh, beyond that.
Totality = Unity, the ONE-ness of all existence.
So, here's another way of looking at it:
The Ani, the I, is an infinitesimal (as in infinitely small) part of the Ain, the Not, the Limitless, the Infinite.
What is the mathematical value of an infinitesimal part of Infinity?
ONE. The Unity, as in Uni-Verse. The Ani Ain.
(Let Infinity be expressed by AIN. Then the infinitesimal = 1/AIN. The Infinite is AIN. Mathematically, 1/AIN times AIN = 1. Even simpler, I hope, 1/X times X = 1. That's X/X=1. Always.)
But we are not done. Actually, now we can begin.
